NFL Fantasy Football Week 1 Bold Predictions with Alan Goldsher: Bijan Goes Off, Jayden Doesn’t

For us Chicago sports dorks, the first week of any professional season is almost always weird.

Some highlights: On April 6, 1982, a spring blizzard postponed the Chicago White Sox/Boston Red Sox opener at Comiskey Park.

(Fun fact: The wind chill dipped down to -3.) On September 7, 2003, 49ers kicker Jeff Chandler hit five field goals, single-handedly outscoring the Chicago Bears, who were trounced by San Francisco, 49-7.

(Fun fact: The Bears managed just 127 total yards, the 23rd lowest total in franchise history.) On October 31, 2006opening night of the NBA seasonthe Chicago Bulls annihilated the defending champion Miami Heat 108-66.

(Fun fact: Miamis future Hall of Famers Dwyane Wade and Shaquille ONeal combined for 32 points, while Chicagos future not-Hall of Famers Chris Duhon and Thabo Sefolosha combined for 31.) But for me, little was weirder than The Shawon Dunston Game.

Because I was there .

It's April 15, 1985 The 4-1 Chicago Cubs are hosting the 1-4 Philadelphia Phillies.

The temperature at Wrigley Field hovers in the mid-50s, but The Hawk whipping off of Lake Michigan makes it feel about 38.

Im flying solo in the box seats, as Im the only dummy in my circle of friends willing to freeze their butt off for a meaningless April game.

Led by the likes of Ryne Sandberg, Gary Matthews, Ron Cey, and Rick Sutcliffe, the 85 Cubs are a solid squad, but we Cubs nerds are paying extra-close attention to one Shawon Donnell Dunston.

A highly-touted infielder, the Brooklyn-born rookie had an impressive five-year minor league run before being anointed the teams Opening Day starting shortstop.

We nerds are psyched, as Dunston is purported to have a quality batting stroke and a Howitzer for an arm both of which are sorely needed, as the Cubs shortstop the previous season was 97-year-old Larry Bowa.

On this cold afternoon, however, the sight on the rookies Howitzer is a tad out of alignment.

ITS THE TOP of the first.

There are two outs.

Cubs lefty Steve Trout is on the mound.

Phillies lefty Von Hayes is at the plate.

Trout delivers one of his nasty curves.

The pitch is outside, but Hayes reaches and taps it opposite field, just to the left of second base.

Dunston scoops up the grounder and fires it towards first baseman Leon Durham.

The ball sails about seven feet over Durhams head and into the stands, nearly decapitating several fans in the sixth row.

All 8,347 of us groan.

Fast forward to the third inning.

Phils pitcher John Denny who finished his career with a whopping .180 batting average steps to the plate.

Trout drops a curve to the right hander, who pulls a dribbler just to the left of second base.

Again, Dunston scoops up the grounder and fires it towards Durham.

The ball sails about eight feet over Durhams head and into the stands, nearly decapitating several fans in the seventh row.

Again, 8,347 of us groan.

Fast forward to the fourth inning.

Phillies lefty Von Hayes is again at the plate.

Trout again delivers one of his nasty curves.

The pitch is again outside, but Hayes again reaches and taps it opposite field, just to the left of second base.

Dunston scoops up the grounder and fires it towards Durham.

This time, before the ball even leaves Dunstons hand, every single patron sitting behind the first base line ducks.

In unison.

Like its choreographed.

And its a good thing, because guess where the ball ends up.

All 8,347 of us laugh our asses off.

Dunston went on to have himself a nice, albeit nomadic career in pro baseball, and ironically considering his performance in his sixth-ever Major League game he retired with a reputation as a decent fielder, which his percentages bear out: Shortstop: .955 Outfield: .987 Third Base: .933 Second Base: .966 But on that cold afternoon in Aprilan afternoon in which the 22-year-old almost sent multiple season ticket holders to the Illinois Masonic Medical Centerone would have never guessed that Dunston would flash quality leather for almost two decades.

Nonetheless, even after he got his Howitzer under control, it wasnt uncommon for the Wrigley attendees seated behind the visitors dugout to take cover when a grounder headed towards the venerable Shawon Donnell Dunston.

Will we see any equally weird weirdness here in Week 1 of the 2025 NFL season? If I have anything to say about it, hells yeah.

To that end, lets see how bizarre things might get in Fantasyland: Eagles WR DeVonta Smith: 125-plus receiving yards and two-plus receiving touchdowns Not sure if you guys heard, but the Cowboys gave away, er, I mean the Cowboys traded away one of the franchises best-ever defenders in Micah Parsons.

In this Parsons-less game, the defending champs will go Full-Madden on the Boys, and Smith will haul in a couple of long-ass TD catches, sending Jerry Jones into the nearest padded room.

Falcons RB Bijan Robinson: 200-plus rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns I know, I know, the 2024 Bucs had the NFLs fourth-stingiest rushing defense, but, generally speaking, a previous seasons team statsespecially on the defensive sidemean absolutely nada, because new schemes, new personnel, that sort of thing.

In a divisional game in front of a home crowd, Bijan will justify my decision to make him the top-pick in two of my six fantasy leagues.

(Six leagues is too many leagues, BTW.) Bengals QB Joe Burrow: 400-plus passing yards & Bengals WR JaMarr Chase: 99-minus receiving yards Two, two, two bold predictions in one! Facing the Browns, Chasecontemporary fantasy footballs eternal WR1will be held relatively in check by a better-than-competent Cleveland Browns defense.

But what with all the attention given to Chase, his WR cohorts Tee Higgins and Andrei Iosivas will each top 100 receiving yards.

And making things even bolder, Iosivas will out-yardage Higgins.

Colts QB Daniel Jones: 100-plus rushing yards and teams leading rusher That Jonathan Taylor guy is pretty good at footballboth fantasy and realitybut how good? Welp, of the Colts RBs 67 NFL games, hes topped 100 yards in just 24, meaning that hell have a mere 36% percent chance to hit the century mark.

Thisll be one of the non-100-yarders, and Joneswho isnt as bad as you think he is (and you probably think hes really bad)will pick up the ground attack slack.

Raiders RB Ashton Jeanty: 175-plus all-purpose yards Remember when the Raiders were scary af? Probably not, since it was back in 1983.

Remember when the Patriots were scary af? Most likely, because it was just seven years ago.

Remember when the Raiders and the Patriots both stunk? Of course you do, because was, like, six months ago.

But the Raiders are headed down a less stinky track, thanks in part to rookie Jeanty, wholl fulfill expectations and then some in Foxborough.

Steelers QB Aaron Rodgers: Five-plus interceptions I have no facts or figures to support this one.

Its just that as a Bears fan, I despise Rodgers more than any professional athlete, everokay, maybe its a tie with Bill Laimbeerso my hope is that if I type it here, itll come true on the Meadowlands turf.

Visit this space each and every week for the latest and greatest in Rodgers dissing.

Commanders QB Jayden Daniels: Two-plus interceptions, two-plus sacks, and under 200 total yards Two things: First, remember how the NFL kinda figured out C.J.

Stroud between his freshman and sophomore season in Houston? And second, the Giants defense, led by frightening rookie Abdul Carter, looks freakin great.

So itll be a fugly day for Jayden 2.0.

Seahawks QB Sam Darnold: Less than 125 passing yards Im not a Sam Darnold truther, and Im not alone.

I know, I know, last year with the Vikings, he was a beasthis 102.6 passer rating was sixth in the leaguebut he was coached up by QB whisperer Kevin OConnell, and he was throwing to Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison, and with all those factors in place, my 12-year-old daughter couldve easily hit 102.6.

Easily .

But Slingin Sammys career passer rating outside of Minneapolis was 80.0, and last time I looked, Seattle was outside of Minneapolis, so here we are.

Houston RB Woody Marks: 50-plus-yard TD run JoQuavious Dequane Marks was one of the happy surprises of the 2025 preseason, looking quick, decisive, and legit.

The rest of the Houston running back room, maybe not so much.

Without Joe Mixon in uniform, itll be running back by committee, with the shifty rookie bringing the funk.

Bears QB Caleb Williams: 375-plus passing yards As a Bears nerd, I have no choice but to go wayyyy overboard on Caleb.

But theres some semblance of precedent: When new Bears coach Ben Johnson was offensive coordinating in Detroit, his QB Jared Goff twice threw for 400-plus yards.

So go Caleb, go..

This article has been shared from the original article on si, here is the link to the original article.