The Onion Rips Pirates in Hilarious Irresponsible Marketing Story

The Pittsburgh Pirates are once again the laughing stock of national media headlines: just not at the same publications as usual.

Satirical newspaper The Onion ran a piece criticizing the Pirates for encouraging youth fandom.

The headline, posted to the paper's website and across social media, reads "Pirates Under Fire For Directly Marketing Team To Children," with a header image of a sad-looking little boy in Buccos gear.

The piece comes in the face of another in a long string of disappointing seasons for the Pittsburgh club, who haven't been to the playoffs since the Obama administration.

"Detailing the harmful, long-term effects of early exposure to the ball clubs dismal on-field product, parents and child safety organizations denounced the Pittsburgh Pirates Monday for directly marketing the team to children," the article says.

The piece went on to lambaste the Pirates for using "targeted giveaways, cartoon mascots, and Pirates-branded youth merchandise" to get children to be fans of the team.

The Onion also cited a fake expect, named "National Child Safety Council spokesperson Rebecca Amoroso" as cautioning against Pirates fandom for children.

The team knows that no sane adult would willingly become a Pirates fan, so they have to go after minors.

They hook children early because they know the cycle of hope and despair is addicting, and if young kids start watching games, theres a good chance theyll grow up to be season-ticket holders," the fake expert said.

It's not the first time The Onion has made fun of the Pirates, and the jokes go back for decades.

In January 2021, they ran a story titled "MLB Beginning To Suspect Pirates Just A Mob Front." Just five years after the constriction of PNC Park, in July 2006, the satirical paper ran "PNC Park Threatens To Leave Pittsburgh Unless Better Team Is Built".

The Onion's sports section doesn't only mock the Pirates.

Ahead of the piece cautioning against Pirates fandom for children, they also ran stories titled "Novelty Nachos Helmet Works Way Into Regular Dishes Rotation" and "Mavericks GM Trades Away All Of Teams Basketballs".

While the cited expert may have been fake, the Buccos' slump is all too real.

The Pirates are dead last in the NL Central, with a record of 52-73.

They're 14.5 games behind the NL Wild Card standings and are likely to miss the post-season for the tenth consecutive season.

The last Pirates playoff win came in 2013.

Make sure to visit Pirates OnSI for the latest news, updates, interviews and insight on the Pittsburgh Pirates Pirates Promote Rising Catcher Prospect Pirates Pitcher Accepting of New Bullpen Role Pirates GM Updates Oneil Cruz's Injury Pirates Announce Next Paul Skenes Start Pirates Promote Top Prospect Konnor Griffin.

This article has been shared from the original article on si, here is the link to the original article.