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Just before he went up to hit his opening drive, Woody Oakes walked over to Rex Raderstorf, who was standing just beyond the tee box for the first hole at Community Golf Course, and extended his hand.
Thank you for 25 years, Woody said softly, but earnestly.
Its been a real honor ..
and a blessing.
The pair was about to embark on a round of golf like no other, and they were doing so while joined by 10 of their closest pals.
In August 2001, they were finishing one of their occasional rounds of golf when Rex suggested they do this every month.
As last weeks round attested, an off-the-cuff suggestion turned into a 25-year commitment.
Month after month 300 consecutive rounds they played at Community.
Sometimes they were part of a bigger group like last Wednesday when Rexs son Tim came over from Columbus to join them and two other groups of friends who teed off first but much of the time it was just them.
They played in foot-deep snow wearing boots.
They played in rain.
They snuck onto the closed course during COVID and once did the same in the darkness of Christmas Eve.
They played for five years when Rex used a set of right-handed clubs and then for the past two decades (except for his old putter) when he switched to left-handed clubs.
Woody played after he had knee replacement surgery and another time after surgery to remove melanoma on his chest.
They played after parents deaths and the birth of grandchildren.
They played when they both were working and now since theyve retired.
Weve gone through the whole circle of life, Rex said.
What theyve done is amazing, said Dan ODonnell, who was part of last Wednesdays group.
Its a story of friendship and loyalty.
ODonnell first got to know Rex when their children went to Alter High School.
Many of the guys in the group go back to the days when Rexs and Woodys kids, like their own, were involved in Cub Scouts and sports at St.
Albert parish.
Bob Hach has been pals with Rex for over 50 years, since they were University of Dayton classmates and Rex would hang out at Hatchs place at 23 Evanston Ave.
The bonds that bring these men together has also benefited so many others in the area because of their benevolence.
Some three decades ago, Rex, Jeff Borland, Mark Levy and Dr.
John Duby started going to Hilton Head, S.C., on a golf trip.
They soon were joined by Woody, ODonnell, Steve Turner, Mark McHale, Mike Eckley and Al Stoermer.
The trip was always in March and the group would fill out NCAA Tournament brackets and watch the games.
Eventually they would divide into two Ryder Cup teams and compete against each other.
The best thing these guys ever did was start its Livin the Dream Fund thats been run under the umbrella of The Dayton Foundation.
Its a very gracious group of men, though it can get a little raucous on the back nine, Borland said with a laugh.
Over that weekend, wed solve all the worlds problems, but finally we decided: More than just talk, why dont we put our money where our mouth is? Duby, who came in last week from his home northwest of Chicago to celebrate Rex and Woody, agreed.
Wed been so fortunate and blessed with our families, our professions and our finances that we agreed we needed to do something to say thanks and give back to our community.
That struck a chord with Woody, who was a licensed clinical counselor over the years at DayMont West; a program director at St.
Joseph Orphanage; and for 22 years worked with Centerville schools until he went into private practice.
That should be your purpose, Oakes said.
You want to live your best life, be your best self and pay it forward.
With Borland and Duby taking the lead, it was decided each guy would try to donate at least $500 a year to the fund and then once a year the group would draw two or three names out of a hat and those guys would choose a cause that meant something to them.
After explaining the choice to the others, they each would donate usually around $2,000 to $2,500 to that entity.
In the following years, once each of the other guys got a similar chance, the rotation began anew.
It gave a better meaning and purpose to the blessings we had, Rex said.
To date, Livin the Dream has handed out over $100,000.
This year, the group donated to Brigids Path, which improves the health of newborn babies and mothers impacted by addiction; Girls on the Run, which strengthens third to eighth-grade girls social, emotional, physical and behavioral skills; and the House of Bread, which serves daily meals to those in need.
Past donations have gone to various groups including the St.
Vincent de Paul Society, the Food Bank, Catholic Social Services, the Do Good Ministry, the Alzheimers Foundation and the Dayton East End Project.
Woody not only has made donations toward finding a cure for Type 1 or juvenile diabetes, but he and Kathleen, his wife of 50 years come Aug.
7, have raised funds riding a tandem bike in events across America.
ODonnell has two children and a grandchild battling the disorder (his daughter, daughter-in-law and grandson all have suffered from the auto-immune disorder), and has made that his donation cause as well.
Hach has a scholarship in the name of his parents, Nancy and Raymond Hach, for underprivileged kids at his alma mater, St.
Ignatius High in Cleveland.
Duby saw there was limited scholarship money for Wright State University medical students and made that a priority.
He was the chair of the Department of Pediatrics at the Boonshoft School of Medicine at WSU and later the vice president of academic affairs at Dayton Childrens Hospital.
the Dream has allowed them all to do a couple of special things, Borland said.
We did charitable acts, but we also got to know each other in a way you normally never would.
I mean wed have a dozen men sitting around a table one night talking about what kind of charitable things were important to them.
And once that idea got rolling, it became something everyone was looking forward to.
Theyre always there for each other Woody was raised in Nassau County on Long Island, graduated from Archbishop Molloy High in Queens and went to college at Rochester.
After graduation he went to rural Southeast Missouri with VISTA, the national anti-poverty volunteer program and then led a residential treatment program for neglected and abused youth in New Orleans.
He and Kathleen, after following her parents move to Dayton, raised two children here, Andrew and Maureen.
Like the 72-year-old Rex, Woody was involved in coaching their sons and in Cub Scout fundraising duties.
In the summers, they took the boys on road trips, including one to Cooperstown and another to The Boundary Waters, the million-acre wilderness in northern Minnesota.
Coming home that time, they detoured to the Field of Dreams in Iowa and played catch with their sons.
I was not a great athlete, I got cut from my JV basketball team, but Rex was a great athlete, Woody said.
Unfortunately, he had a fateful football experience his senior year at Alter and he nearly died.
It ended his chances of going to the Air Force Academy.
Rex, whose dad had become the new Montgomery County Parks superintendent, moved to Dayton from Detroit his junior year of high school.
In 1971, his senior football season, his Alter team played at Lima Shawnee.
I was a defensive back and made a tackle, he recalled.
I was going back to the huddle and everything was spinning around and I collapsed and went into convulsions on the field.
Id been knocked out about five times already that year, but they didnt take it that serious then.
But a Detroit Lions player had collapsed and died on the field a week earlier and there was a different attitude this time.
A teammates father who was a doctor was in the stands and saved Rex, Woody said.
Rushed to St.
Ritas Hospital in Lima, Rex ended up in the care of neurologist Dr.
L.Y.
Soo, who was from China, and, in Rexs words, was one of the best there was anywhere.
Rex underwent a two-hour surgery to remove a blood clot from his brain.
The morning after the Shawnee game he was supposed to have his physical for the Air Force Academy at Wright Patterson AFB.
That was cancelled and his high school football career was ended.
Yeah, but he went UD and spent more time with Sherri Brun and now (July 30) theyll be married 50 years, too, Woody said.
The couple has three children (Michael, Meghan and Tim) and Rex has a special connection with Tim because of golf.
This spring they made their second trip to the Masters, and had a wondrous time.
Tim sent accounts of those cherished ventures to Tony Kornheiser, the acclaimed former Washington Post columnist, co-host of the Emmy-winning ESPN show, Pardon the Interruption, and the host of his own radio program and podcast, The Tony Kornheiser Show.
Kornheiser read those accounts on his show, likely because he could tell the respect and love for the game the two have, and he felt the love between father and son, as well.
A New Yorker himself, Kornheiser also would likely appreciate the effervescent Woody, who is an encyclopedia of sports trivia.
At 76, Woody still walks the course carrying his golf bag.
Rex walks too, but the other day was just the second time he was using his new electric caddy with a remote control to drive his bag around.
One of the things that happens when you carry a bag and walk is that youre going to talk, Woody said.
And weve had a lot of heart-to-heart talks about lifes ups and downs.
As Tim noted, They are totally different in some ways.
Dad listens to 700 WLW.
Woody listens to NPR.
But while they may have different approaches to the world, theyre always there for each other.
And maybe thats the glue.
Its that reliability.
Its someone they can count on to show up, no matter what.
And they can keep it light when they need things light, but they are not afraid to talk about big things, too.
Rex, who worked in finance his whole life, said he sought Woodys advice when his eldest son was young and needed some guidance and today, hes a successful musical theater director on Broadway and in Aspen, Colorado.
I dont think theres any one of us who, at one time or another, didnt have a sidebar with Woody on the idea of raising kids, Borland said.
Rex speaks with admiration of Woody being there for others: Wed be playing golf and suddenly his phone would buzz and hed say, Hey, I need to take this call.
And wed find out later that somebody was ready to jump off a bridge.
I know over the years Woody saved kids lives.
These days Woody spends most of his time caring for Kathleen, who has memory issues.
Now Rex can lend an understanding ear.
He said his father suffered from Alzheimers.
The couple of hours Woody is out here has to be good for him, Rex said.
Its the only time hes able to slip away and recharge.
Woody shook his head: Kathleen and I have had 50 beautiful years.
How could anybody be so lucky? An end of an era After the groups finished playing nine holes last week (after Rex stopped at the young oak tree and plaque on the third hole his kids donated to the community in honor of his 2009 hole-in-one there (Woody aced No.
11 on the outside in 1979)) they all congregated at the Oak Knoll Victory Memorial picnic tables near Community and shared Smithwicks Red Ale, non-alcoholic beer and water along with several bags of Cincinnati Reds peanuts.
The guys told stories and busted (chops), as Woody put it.
Through it all you could feel the love, the respect and sense of brotherhood they had for each other.
In March, with most of them now in their 70s, theyd said that Hilton Head trip would be their last.
And the last of the Livin the Dream funds were dispersed, too.
An era, they more or less said, was coming to an end.
But golf is known for a mulligan now and then, and Rex took one before the group headed to Milanos for lunch.
I looked into the March Madness dates, he announced.
We could leave on a Wednesday and come back Monday.
Wed be there five nights and play four rounds.
If weve got 10 guys, we can get the big house again.
And I just checked airfare from Dayton to Savannah.
It was $106 on Allegiant.
Is there anyone who cant go? As the guys worked through various scenarios with each other, no one said he was bowing out.
As for the round-a-month string he and Woody have going, was the 300 celebration a sign it was ending? Oh no! Rex said shaking his head.
Well keep going.
While were probably not going to do another 25 years, Id say well go until we cant breathe on this earth anymore.
But as his growing smile told you, before that, this was all about living.
Living your best life.
Livin the Dream.