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The situation between US soccer star Gio Reina’s mother and his coach, Greg Berhalter, is not just because of the tactics used, but because of what it says about the darker side of sports parenting. Raised eyebrows in the sports world.
This kind of parental involvement is common in youth sports and is occasionally seen at college balls.
“It’s pretty amazing that it’s happening on the World Cup stage,” Sachs said. “This is the epitome of youth sport in our country at the highest level.”
According to Wintergreen Research’s 2019 report, the industry is a $19.2 billion market. That’s $4 billion more for him than the NFL.
For cities, tournaments generate tourism revenue. For parents, scholarships can ease the burden of skyrocketing college tuition. But kids can start to feel like what started as a backyard game has now become a job.
“In our youth sports world, there is a lot of pressure and a lot of focus on winning. “There has been this shift of parents who think their status is equated with how well their child can play sports. That’s it.”
Every few years videos of extreme incidents emerge, such as the parent of a 7-year-old throwing a punch at a baseball game because he didn’t agree with the umpire’s call of a 13-year-old. During September 2 A fight broke out at a youth football game in El Paso involving both parents and coach.
But what leads to the loss of volunteers hosting organized youth sports every weekend are countless stories of inappropriate behavior that go viral. There is a nationwide shortage of enforcers. A Massachusetts high school football coach said he quit the company after 19 seasons because he was harassed so badly by his parents that he needed an escort to his car after every game. .
For Little League Senior Strategy Executive Nina Johnson-Pitt, her wake-up call was when her then 11-year-old daughter entered first grade on the traveling softball team. In the final game of the tournament, the team acted as if they didn’t want to be there, she said. Her daughter then ruined the play and the team lost.
“I remember being so angry. We got in the car and I unloaded her stuff. She was in shock and crying,” she said. “At that moment, I was like, ‘Woman, what’s wrong with you?’ I couldn’t understand why this little kid’s sport could do that to me.
Johnson-Pitt turned it into a teaching moment for both.
“As adults, we can be allowed to make mistakes and show our children that they can apologize. ‘ she said.
Former college basketball player and sports journalist Asia Mape became clear after interviewing a youth sports mindfulness coach. The woman suggested paying attention to how your child feels inside when they play sports.
Mape was nervous before her daughter’s game and frustrated when things didn’t go well.
She realized she needed to take a step back and make sports fun again. Mape launched a website called I Love To Watch You Play eight years before she was born. She has blog posts and videos with inspiration and tips for parents trying to understand the line between support and pressure.
“Children lose interest when parents insert themselves in ways that cross the line. They withdraw. It happened to my oldest,” she said. Even if you don’t own your own journey, it’s motivating. It takes the fun out of it.
Parents in sports are spiraling out of control, so Little League introduced the Parent-Volunteer Pledge in 2002.
“I will teach all children to play fair and give their best. I will actively support all managers, coaches and players. , I commend you for your good efforts.”
This pledge is said before every Little League World Series game, perhaps as a reminder of what should be common sense. But a 2012 survey conducted by i9 Sports, his provider of youth multi-sport, found that 31% of the kids surveyed said he didn’t want their parents to watch his games. I was.
Johnson-Pitt suspects that advances in technology have increased extreme parental involvement. In the past, students would come home with paper grades and their grades would be a bit of a surprise.
“Now I can track every document my kids turn in. I can track everything my kids are doing. I try not to. I try to get them to have those conversations. , you know it’s available, so it’s hard not to check it out,” she said. I think it extends to sports.”
She said the role of a parent in sports evolves as the child gets older. And as they get older, parents should be there as a support system and not judgmental. One of the things she asks her daughters is how much she wants them to be involved. about it. Her answers have changed over the years, she said, strengthening their relationship.
Bringing parents and children on the same page is what the Positive Coaching Alliance does in thousands of workshops each year. Parents often fill out surveys to rank what they want their children to do in sports. College scholarships, leadership skills, and making friends are on the list. Then the child does the same.
“When a parent compares their own goals to their child’s goals, it’s this great conversation starter,” Sachs said.
And when issues like play time arise, letting your child take the lead will give you an edge in future situations, Sachs said.
“This is where kids talk to their coaches and say, ‘What do you need to do to get more playing time? What do you need to see from me at practice?'” Sachs said. I hope these kids will work professionally somewhere someday, and it would be great if they had the experience of talking to someone in power.”
Mary Beth Garne Freelance journalist based in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. She has two young children of her own.
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